now at highwaytohoech

now at highwaytohoech

"You can help me," Derek says, as threateningly as he can manage, "or you can watch me tear your throat out." His wolf stirs in his chest. Derek allows his mouth a corner of a grin. "With my teeth," he adds. It’s a pretty good threat, considering Derek isn’t an expert or anything. It sounds like something a bad guy would say in a movie before everyone did whatever he wanted.

Deaton just smiles serenely.

Derek glares back. He can’t help but feel like Deaton is laughing at him, and it’s hard being intimidating when the human who’s supposed to be scared of you is practically mussing your hair and calling you Der-bear or something. Derek grits his teeth, stops wasting time talking. His fangs grow in his mouth, his claws inch out over his nails, and he leaps.

He’s just going to shake Deaton up. He isn’t actually going to hurt him. But he can’t help hearing the Benefactor’s voice in his head, and it slows him just before his claws hit a nerve-jarring wall of nothing.

"Mountain ash," Deaton says from behind the barrier.




“Get off me!”

Derek stumbles forward, barely rights himself before seeing one guy’s hands come out like he’s trying to catch him. He trips back, nearly hits the guy who’d had him by one arm, who reaches out to lay a hand on his shoulder.

“I said get off!”

The group backs up as one, still gathered around Derek in an uneven circle.

“What do you want?” Derek asks. “If—if this is some kind of treaty thing, my alpha—” He takes in the sudden dropped gazes of most of the circle. “What?”

“Derek,” the guy with the hands says. He’s still got his hands out, kind of reaching, kind of catching, kind of dropping to his sides. His voice is calm, but his eyes are too bright to sell it, and his heartbeat is out of control. “Are you—Do you know who we are?”

Derek swallows, thinks. If this is a treaty thing, another pack thing, why would they care about him? He’s not even the alpha-in-training, he’s nothing. Mom doesn’t even bother explaining most werewolf politics to him. He knows most of it from Laura, Peter, from passing alphas who used to think it was cute to tell the youngest beta their complicated histories and have it repeated back to them around still-awkward fangs. Now that’s Cora, and not recently, either—She says she’s too big to play kid games.

“No,” Derek decides. “Should I?”

The group exchanges glances again. Derek wishes they’d stop.

“Derek—” the hands guy starts again.

“Tell me who you are,” Derek says. He’s been working on not sounding like the little kid everyone still seems to think he is. Everyone except—

“My name’s Stiles,” hands guy says, and finally notices his outstretched hands. “Stilinski,” he adds, before Derek can point out that that doesn’t sound like a name at all. “This is, uh, Malia, Lydia, Kira—” He indicates the three supermodels around him. “The guy who got you out of there is Scott, the girl’s Braeden. I don’t really know what her deal is yet, but you can trust the rest of us.” He considers. “Maybe not Malia. She’s working on it. But, you know, the rest of us.”

“Yeah?” Derek says skeptically. “Why would I do that?”

“Wow, you really haven’t changed a bit,” Stiles says.

First full chapter is up on AO3

Chapter two is up!


tyler takes dylan home for his mom’s birthday. they all love dylan, so tyler’s not worried. okay, maybe he’s a little bit worried. 

mostly dylan’s worried, because he’s dylan.

also because he’s dylan, he’s trying to hide the nerves under jokes, and with every quip tyler thinks of how nervous dylan actually is because he wants tyler’s family to like him, and then how tyler’s family might not like him, and then how dylan’s face will look if they don’t like him, how he’ll probably make a bunch of nervous jokes and push his fingers through his hair and laugh a lot until his voice falters and his eyes get all bright— and tyler’s getting so tense imagining it that his shoulders are practically derek-tight.

he takes a deep breath, presses dylan closer to him in a one-armed hug, and kisses his hair. “it’ll be fine. they love you.”

"you know, that’s a lot more convincing when your jaw isn’t clenched like you’re about to wolf out, dude," dylan says, but he leans into tyler’s side, looking noticeably calmer. 

"wolf out, really."

"yeah, when you’re, like, annoyed, that muscle in your neck does this thing where—" he breaks off, laughing. "it sounds so weird that i notice this stuff. you’d think i watch you, like, obsessively."

tyler frowns, brow creased in mock-hurt. “you don’t watch me obsessively?”

dylan laughs again, warm and open, rolling through his whole body, and tyler smirks at him, then breaks into laughter himself. warmth rises in him, and he kisses dylan again, because he can, because he’s happy, because dylan makes him really, really happy. his family’ll see that, everything will be fine.

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sterek shippers don’t say, “stiles loves derek,” they say “i had an idea for jeff, that when we do finally meet, and if we have a scene that’s very expositional — like if we come together and something’s going on we have to converge and discuss something — then we should kind of stop at the end of it and before we walk away, stiles should just say, i missed you,’” and ”i was imagining either in a future season, or even in that season, that stiles would really, really freak out because it’s his dad, and the time you see stiles really lose it is when his dad’s in trouble, so i really, really wanted a scene where it was derek and stiles in the jeep, going out and trying to find stilinski, and derek’s the one that’s always dealt with his anger, and that’s been a huge part of him so i think he really understands that, and i thought it’d be really great to have a scene where stiles is so upset and so angry about what’s going on that he just needs to get that anger out, and that derek would basically let him beat the crap out of him and just hit him over and over again and kind of be like that punching bag, because derek’s a werewolf and he can heal, and he can take it. so i thought it’d be a really great scene where he’s like “hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” and [stiles is] kind of like losing it and eventually just starts hitting derek and he just lets him. he understands that anger, and i think for him to kind of let him get that anger out and really be that punching bag for him, i thought that would’ve been a cool scene,” and “stiles, just hit me,” and i think that’s beautiful


give up the dream (stereobrien) "we want more scenes together! we have no more scenes together." - DYLAN O’BRIEN "they come sporadically and, you know, they’re there and then they’re gone. it’s always something to look forward to." - TYLER HOECHLIN

a mix for two maybe ships that brilliantly avoid the iceberg by never actually leaving the harbor.



lets be real tho stiles wakes up to see himself sleeping next to him he’s not thinking body swap he’s thinking holy shit it’s the nogitsune i fucking fucked the nogitsune

so he grabs his body by the throat and something snaps

welcome to being human derek hale it’s sure to be as awesome as the rest of your life


hey story time: supernatural was supposed to be about sam winchester. sam winchester, main character, his brother dean the background comic relief to break up the tension. problem is, jensen ackles is an incredible actor, and that quickly turned around. 

i have always watched the show for dean winchester because the characters i tend to care about the most are his kind of characters—self loathing, sarcastic, protective, a whole travelling circus’ worth of baggage, and just barely-concealed heart. the drier, more moralistic, less jaded protagonist doesn’t move me like that. and you know what? that’s okay. it’s fine that i watched supernatural for seven and a half seasons for dean winchester, and my appreciation for sam, or jared padalecki’s acting, went up and down depending on his character arcs. i don’t have to be ashamed about that.

jared padalecki has never in nine seasons accused dean fans of watching the show for the wrong reasons. according to some arguments i’ve seen in the past day, he has and had every right to. he gave the show his all and jensen stole his way into the spotlight anyway. made sam the smaller silhouette on the dvd box covers, in the posters.

and then misha came along and whoa did he pick up a following. and yes, that stole yet more spotlight from sam and jared. and yes, on tumblr, most supernatural posts i see are destiel, and most destiel art and fics don’t feature sam as the title character.

and you know what? that’s fine too.

yeah, i’d get it if jared was disappointed at being sidelined by the guy who was supposed to be his backup and the guy who wasn’t supposed to outlast a season. but i have never once heard him complain about it, much less call destiel fans twisted and weird, or even say that people watching the show for destiel are watching for the wrong reason.

and you know what? past season six, i was watching for destiel. i needed some kind of hope of some kind of eventual relief for the character who seemed to literally never catch a break. i sure as hell wasn’t watching for the female characters who got left behind, killed, or had their memories wiped. i wasn’t watching expecting dean to find any kind of happiness outside his little homemade family, so that’s what i was watching for. 

i came into the teen wolf fandom through tumblr, through sterek. through the shippers saying this show was different, saying jeff had said if there was enough interest, hoechlin had said 50/50 chance, saying it’s practically canon already, saying this is gonna be the show where we don’t get ridiculed for shipping who we ship, where maybe for once we’re right rather than crazy fans with their crazy delusional disgusting wet dreams. i came into the teen wolf fandom, and the sterek fandom, because i was tired of being a joke, and for once, i wanted to be the one laughing.

i’m not nearly as optimistic these days about canonicity, but these characters are my heart and soul now, and once again, realizing stiles’ love interests drop like flies and derek’s don’t seem to care much about consent and nobody in this story is getting any kind of happy ending, i cling to the idea of these two characters taking the slow-built trust and connection that’s been developing over three seasons to find their own kind of happiness, even if the rest of their life stays hellish. back in season 2 i wanted the whole thing, the made family, ohana means pack means no one gets left behind, most like the episode raving, everyone pulling together, derek saving scott and sending boyd to safety, stiles erica and isaac handling the motw like a team, hell i wanted allison and lydia in there too, that was the dream. (that’s still the dream fanon is beautiful and no one can take it away from me uwu) and then i watched twelve episodes where that was destroyed, and fanon and sterek were the fucking life rafts through character deaths and quality drops and everything panning out to equal nothing. if not for sterek? hell yeah i’d’ve stopped watching that clusterfuck. 

the quality has gone up again in 3b which is great. there’s kira who i love, dark!stiles which is painful and brilliantly acted, lydia finding her footing, a big bad who actually has a motive, scott and stiles’ relationship, stilinski family feels, melissa mccall who is an actual real-life perfect person, there’s a lot of good here. but i still care about, still want sterek, keep asking for some basic both-in-the-same-room interaction. you know why?

because there’s been a complete drought.

there have been fewer emotional derek scenes in general in 3b, and you know what derek fans say after each one? “needs more derek.” that’s not dismissing the rest of the show, or only watching for derek, that’s saying why aren’t we seeing the conversation he had with his mother, what surely could have been one of those beautiful horrible tearjerker scenes jeff loves so much? why aren’t we seeing him deal with losing his sister so soon after he found her again? why aren’t we seeing him do just about anything but tortureporn and dry exposition?

and those questions don’t mean we’re not appreciating or valuing the rest of the show. they just mean we see a sudden dropoff in emotional continuity for this character, and we want more of them. we want more of this thing we like, we’re satisfied with almost everything else, so we’re not as vocal about those things.

i watch a lot of television, and one show i really love is called the fosters. i love just about every part of it, but i barely make posts about it at all, because everything’s already been done for me. when i make a post about wanting more derek, or more subtle scenes from scott’s perspective, it’s because i’m filling a gap in what i want from the show with fandom. not because those are the only things i care about. sterek is the same way.

and hey, you don’t have to read my fic, you don’t have to like the ship, you don’t have to like what i’m saying. but i came to the teen wolf fandom because i wanted a safe space, and it largely became that, and now people are feeling guilty for these same feelings and others, for liking a thing they like that makes them happy.

i’m a lesbian born and raised in the world of ultra-orthodox judaism. my father pretends i’m going to turn around and marry a nice religious guy some day, and my mother has made it clear that if she finds out i have a relationship, i’m pretty much excommunicated. i expect to be a punchline in my community, to be raised eyebrows and cold shoulders and called crazy, called weird, called whatever the fuck, i watch teen wolf because it’s a homophobia free world and the cast is a gift and that was what sucked me in besides sterek, after sterek, with sterek, and i’m sorry, but i have a hard time believing anyone would use the words “twisted and weird” to refer to a heterosexual couple. but hey, maybe i’m just sensitive.

i left the supernatural fandom mid season seven, after the fangirl representation, becky,’s mind control-fueled-wedding to sam. i was tired, as a fan and a girl, of feeling like the punchline in a joke i was keeping on the air.

there are so many things i still love about teen wolf, but that sting hurts worse every time, and i’m tired of coming away defensive and exhausted from a thing that used to make me happy, so as much as i may understand posey’s frustration, i can’t handwave his comments away so easily, and it’s difficult to see people i respect say that i have to.




Derek Hale coming back to find the kids having a party at his place makes me kick my feet with joy

Quiiiiiiiiiick, everyone write stories about Stiles being all “i’m going to hook up with the first person who asks,” and Derek not recognizing him, it’s dark and the black-light paint has a strong smell that gets in the way, and the guy reminds him of Stiles, yeah, because he’s trying to stop lying to himself, but he’s tall—taller than Stiles, taller than Derek, and his shoulders are big when he presses Derek back against the wall, and Stiles knows it’s not—not really Derek, he knows it’s not, because this guy is narrower, almost lithe, and he’s wearing jeans that are loose enough for Stiles to slide his fingers inside the waistband, and he’s shorter than Derek is, and Derek is gone, gone, gone, gone, and Stiles is pathetic and kind of drunk, anyhow, Stiles knows it’s not Derek.



if you’re going through hell, keep going.

i. augustine - we are augustines ii. blue chicago moon - songs: ohia iii. midsummer classic - sundowner iv. don’t give up on me now - ben harper v. this isn’t everything you are - snow patrol vi. pale green things - the mountain goats vii. breathe in breathe out - mat kearney viii. c’mon kid (7” series version) - dave hause ix. through the dark - alexi murdoch x. on your porch (acoustic version) - the format xi. hvar - disparition



if you’re going through hell, keep going.

i. augustine - we are augustines ii. blue chicago moon - songs: ohia iii. midsummer classic - sundowner iv. don’t give up on me now - ben harper v. this isn’t everything you are - snow patrol vi. pale green things - the mountain goats vii. breathe in breathe out - mat kearney viii. c’mon kid (7” series version) - dave hause ix. through the dark - alexi murdoch x. on your porch (acoustic version) - the format xi. hvar - disparition


now at highwaytohoech